Di Zi Gui (弟子規)
Chapter 1
At Home, Be Dutiful to My Parents
When my parents call me, I will answer them right away. When they ask me to do something, I will do it quickly.
When my parents instruct me, I will listen respectfully. When my parents reproach me, I will obey and accept their scolding. I will try hard to change and improve myself, to start anew.
In the winter, I will keep my parents warm; in the summer, I will keep my parents cool. I will always greet my parents in the morning to show them that I care. At night I will always make sure my parents rest well.
Before going out, I must tell my parents where I am going, for parents are always concerned about their children. After returning home, I must go and see my parents to let them know I am back, so they do not worry about me. I will maintain a permanent place to stay and lead a routine life. I will persist in whatever I do and will not change my aspirations at will.
A matter might be trivial, but if it is wrong to do it or unfair to another person, I must not do it thinking it will bear little or no consequence.(1) If I do, I am not being a dutiful child because my parents would not want to see me doing things that are irrational or illegal.
Even though a object might be small, I will not keep it a secret from my parents. If I do, I will hurt my parents’ feelings.(2)
If whatever pleases my parents is fair and reasonable, I will try my best to attain it for them.(3) If something displeases my parents, if within reason(4) I will cautiously keep it away from them.
When my body is hurt, my parents will be worried. If my virtues(5) are compromised, my parents will feel ashamed.
When I have loving parents, it is not difficult to be dutiful to them. But if I can be dutiful to parents who hate me, only then will I meet the standards of the saints and sages for being a dutiful child.
When my parents do wrong, I will urge them to change. I will do it with a kind facial expression and a warm gentle voice.
If they do not accept my advice, I will wait until they are in a happier mood before I attempt to dissuade them again, followed by crying, if necessary, to make them understand. If they end up whipping me(6) I will not hold a grudge against them.
When my parents are ill, I will taste the medicine first before giving it to them.(7) I will take care of them night and day and stay by their bedside.
During the first three years of mourning after my parents have passed away, I will remember them with gratitude and feel sad often for not being able to repay them for their kindness in raising me. During this period I will arrange my home to reflect my grief and sorrow. I will also avoid festivities and indulgence in food and alcoholic drinks.
I will observe proper etiquette(8) in arranging my parents’ funerals. I will hold the memorial ceremony and commemorate my parents’ anniversaries with utmost sincerity. I will serve my departed parents as if they were still alive.(9)
(1) For example, in Buddhism, it is considered breaking the precept of not stealing if I borrow a piece of paper or take someone’s pen without permission. It is considered breaking the precept of not killing if I kill an ant or mosquito. If I lie or talk about someone behind his or her back, I have broken the precept of not lying, etc.
(2) Parents will be saddened by the actions of a child who behaves secretively. If he/she behaves in such a way when lie/she is still young, then lie/she will probably twist the law, obtain bribes, and be a curse to his/her country and his/her people when he/she grows up.
(3) If what pleases my parents is illegitimate or unreasonable, I should tactfully dissuade my parents, and tell them the reasons that they should not have it.
(4) I should lead my parents to proper views and understanding of things.
(5) Virtues are standards and principles of one’s conduct. In China a man’s conduct is ruled by “Wu Chang” and “Ba De”. Wu Chang are the five moral principles: kindheartedness, duties and obligations, proper etiquette , wisdom, and trustworthiness . Ba De are the eight virtues: duty to parents, respect for elders, loyalty, credibility, proper etiquette, duties and obligations, a sense of honor, and a sense of shame.
(6) In ancient China, when a child did not obey the parents, the parents were allowed to discipline the child. If a child refused to be disciplined, the parents had the right to ask the authorities to have the child executed.
(7) Chinese people take herbal medicine prescribed by Chinese doctors. Herbs are boiled with water to make a liquid medicine. Before giving such medicine to one’s parents, a child should first taste it to ensure itis not too hot or too bitter.
(8) In ancient China, funeral etiquette was laid down by the emperor.
(9) When my parents are alive, I should treat them with love and respect. When they pass away, I should arrange their funerals with deepest sorrow. For all the subsequent commemorations and anniversaries held, I should show love and respect as if they were still alive.
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