Di Zi Gui (弟子規)
Chapter 2
Standards for a Younger Brother
When Away from Home(10)
If I am the older sibling, I will befriend the younger ones. If I am the younger sibling, I will respect and love the older ones. Only when I can maintain harmonious relationships with my siblings am I being dutiful to my parents.(11)
When I value my familial ties more than property and belongings, no resentment will come between me and my siblings. When I am careful with words and hold back hurtful comments, my feelings of anger naturally die out.
Whether I am drinking, eating, walking, or sitting, I will let the elders go first; the younger ones should follow.
When an elder is asking for someone, I will get that person for him right away. If I cannot find that person, I will immediately report back, and put myself at the elder’s service instead.
When I address an elder, I should not call him by his given name(12). This is in accord with ancient Chinese etiquette. In front of an elder, I will never show off.
If I meet an elder I know on the street, I will promptly clasp my hands and greet him with a bow. If he does not speak to me, I will step back and respectfully stand aside.
Should I be riding a horse(13) and spot an elder I know walking, I will dismount and pay respect to the elder. If I am riding in a carriage(14), I will stop, get out of the carriage, and ask if I can give the elder a ride. If I meet an elder passing by. I will stand aside and wait respectfully. I will not leave until the elder disappears from my sight.
When an elder is standing, I will not sit. After an elder sits down, I sit only when I am told to do so.
Before an elder, I will speak softly. But if my voice is too low and hard to hear, it is not appropriate.
When meeting an elder, I will walk briskly towards him; when leaving, I will not exit in haste. When answering a question, I will look at the person who is asking me the question.
I will serve my uncles as if I am serving my parents. I will treat my cousins as if they are my own siblings.
(10) These standards also apply when the younger brother is at home.
(11) Parents are happy when their children get along with each other. This is one way children can show they are dutiful to their parents.
(12) In ancient China, a male person had at least two names. The first name was the “given name”, which was given to him by his parents when he was born. A second name was given to him by his friends when he reached the age of 20, at a “Ceremony of the Hat” given in his honor to announce his coming-of age. After that only his parents called him by his “given name”. Out of respect, everyone else, including the emperor could only call him by his second name. The only exception was if he committed a crime. During sentencing, he would be called his “given name”.
(13) In ancient China, most people used horses as their means of transportation.
(14) See footnote 13
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